10 Things That Will Make Your Rabbit Disapprove (by guest writer, Radicchio the Rabbit)
Inter-species relationships can be tough. I get that. I do.
We rabbits don't hide our aggravation. Isn't good for the digestion. Feelings are meant to be expressed.
You get the side-eye. Or the butt. Or the angry ears. Maybe a thump.
You know what you did wrong. And if you don't, here's a list of possibilities.
1. Failure to provide the expected food at exactly the right time.
What? You came home from work and did not get busy with the fresh greens? Well that is just wrong. So wrong.
2. Lack of proper devoted response when attention is requested.
Excuse me, did you not see me doing that impossibly cute bid for your focus? What could possibly be more interesting? Nothing. Hooman, make with the forehead rubs.
"Patience may be a virtue, but it is also annoying. Rabbits don't believe we should be asked to wait. For anything. Ever."
- Radicchio the Rabbit
3. Re-arranging the living space.
Tell me you did not move the litter box, toys, bowls, and blankie. Dude, never mess with a bunny's decorating plan.
4. Making a loud noise.
Well that is just rude. Thump.
5. Clipping nails.
All this handling of our paws is nervous-making and although we don't like long nails, the mani-pedis are not a day at the spa, so to speak.
6. Trips of any kind.
Perhaps because these jaunts usually end up at the vet office. Maybe if we went to some bun runs or something fun us rabbits wouldn't jump to conclusions. Now, car means thermometer stuck you know where.
7. Closed doors, gates, and other impediments to free access.
You know what gates and doors say to us? They say there is something really really good on the other side and we need to dig under or chew through until we can get to the good stuff. We will defeat you. We will get to the treasure.
"Sometimes people think we have just the one job: being devastatingly cute. There is more to us, though. We can also help around the house by shredding things, we provide atmosphere with our decorating skills, and we are terrific conversationalists. And flops. We flop. It is mondo cute."
- Radicchio the Rabbit
11. BONUS HINT ABOUT INCURRING YOUR RABBIT'S DISAPPROVAL
BIG PROBLEM: feed too little hay. Or hay that isn't super fresh. The nose knows. Rabbits are discerning (OK, just darn picky). And what happens if we don't eat enough hay? WE GET SICK. OUR TEETH GIVE US PROBLEMS. WE ALL END UP IN THE CAR FOR ONE OF THOSE TRIPS I MENTIONED IN #6. The thermometer is involved. Not a good thing at all.
Thanks for your attention, and I hope you understand our adamant rules gentle perspective a little better now.
Your rabbity guide,
Radicchio the Rabbit
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